Before Motherhood: 6 Things I Wish I'd Been Told

Happy Mothers' Day in advance to all you mom-friends!

This post is part of a Mothers' Day series (over at the blog of a new friend) called Thanks to Motherhood.  

Upon considering motherhood, all its ups and downs and the ways that God continually encounters and shapes my heart through it all, I wrote this list of 6 things I wish I'd known as I stepped into motherhood.

So, all of you, whether you're already a mama, or waiting to be one, or not even sure if you ever want to be one, this is for you.

I wish I had known...

1. That motherhood would bring me to the absolute end of myself. That sleepless nights and exhausting days and seemingly insurmountable obstacles would stretch me beyond the outermost rim of myself, of my capabilities, of my coping skills. And that that’s okay.

2. That motherhood would be the most fulfilling task I’d ever attempt – but only if I embraced each moment of it with a wide open heart. Only if I dove into RIGHT NOW, head first. Only if I chose to be present to my children, to my life, instead of wishing I was somewhere else, doing something else. That living present and engaged was what would make motherhood absolutely. awesome.

~~~

Today my writing is being hosted by Sarah, over at Girl Grows Up. You are hereby invited to click on over to Sarah's place to read the other 4 things I wish I'd been told before becoming a mom. :)

Blessings, my friends!

PS. Be thou not confused - I am still "unplugged" over here! :) I wrote this post in advance and have just stopped over here today to activate the link to Girl Grows Up.  See y'all in 2 weeks!

Zoning In On Easter [We Who Once Were Far Away Have Been Brought Near...]

Hello friends!  Happy Easter weekend to y'all!

I have to admit, this year I have not been as focused on "Holy Week," these days leading up to Easter, as I normally am.  My mind has been preoccupied with other things.  

But I'm taking this writing course online (I'll tell you more about it soon), and I had a writing assignment to do today... and this is what came out.  I think my heart just needed to zone in on Easter... on the victory that was accomplished for us on the cross. 

It's brief... but I wanted to share this with you all today.  May it bless you.... and may the full revelation of the finished work of the cross and the freedom that was won for us make your heart burn inside of you this Easter.

Easter.  It comes around every year.  The calendar, and hopefully the weather, say “springtime!” ...and Easter arrives, hand-in-hand with warmer temperatures and tulips popping their heads through the soil in my flower beds.  

It comes with such regularity that sometimes, I forget to notice it.  To pause.  To ponder. 

And today…Saturday… is a day for pondering.  Friday, Jesus died.  Sunday, He arose victorious.

But Saturday?  Saturday, death had conquered. Or so it seemed. The Lord of the universe was in the tomb, sealed by a giant stone and guarded by soldiers. 

Those who loved Him were devastated.  Those who’d killed him?  Pretty sure they were squirming on the inside over what they’d done: “Surely this man was the Son of God.”  (Mark 15:39)

The disciples huddled together, shoulders shaking with grief, hearts shattered, hopes dashed and dreams crushed.

They’d forgotten what He’d said.  Or simply not understood.  “Destroy this temple and I will raise it again in 3 days.”

Darkness seemed to have won.  The sting of death hung thick in the air… thick in the hearts.

All the world waited.

The hours ticked by. 

Night... and tears... fell.

And then… then, came a Sunday morning sunrise like none other, before or since.  A sunrise accompanied by the trembling of the earth as the Son of God rose, life restored, divine power pulsing, surging through His glorified body.

And those women, trudging to the tomb that morning, hearts and feet heavy with sorrow?  NOTHING could have prepared them to hear one of the most victory-infused, power-laden declarations ever spoken: 

“Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive?  He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead!”

He is RISEN! 

We say it every Easter – “He is risen.”  And the response: “He is risen indeed.”

But do we really consider the implications of that first Easter morning, its practical impact on our lives? 

Death is swallowed up in victory, and we who once were far away have been brought near!! NEAR!!  Near to the heart of God, near to the throne of grace, invited into intimate friendship with the Holy One!  

All because He is risen.  Because the power of sin and death over us has been SHATTERED. Because by His death and resurrection, Jesus CRUSHED the head of our enemy.

Because He loves us.  Because we were the joy set before Him, His motivation to endure the cross.  Your heart… and mine.

He is risen… and we have been brought near… and set wildly free... and brought to life on the inside.

And I am so… beyond… thankful.

A Christmas Blessing [May You Know His Nearness and Sense His Pursuit of Your Heart]

The presents surround the tree.  Our woodwork is wound with greenery and ribbon and twinkling with sparkly lights.  It's 11 pm on Christmas Eve and my husband and I sit in our living room with only the tree and the twinkling greenery for light.  Instrumental Christmas music plays in the background.

Our son sleeps - having just turned 2 in September, he's still young enough that we don't think he'll be jumping on our bed at 5 am wanting to open gifts.  Next year... maybe. :)

We reflect on the past year.  The highs and lows.  The wins.  The losses.  [Oh, how 2012 has brought both... incredible victories and heart-wrenching losses too.]  And we reflect on God's faithfulness through it all.  How he's sustained.  Provided.  Kept our hearts close to His.

I reflect on His continual pursuit of our hearts woven throughout it all.  His obvious hand of kindness, how it's been all. over. our. lives.

He is good.  He gives and takes away... and He's worthy of our trust.  

And He's after our hearts in it all.

My dear friends...this Christmas, may you sense in a deeper way than ever before your Father's tangible nearness and His intimate, tender, unrelenting pursuit of your heart.

May you see it woven throughout history, in the prophecies of Christ's coming, in the new-born Babe in the manger, in the spotless Lamb of God who was crucified and rose again to conquer death...to pursue intimate relationship with us... to win our hearts.  Mine.  And yours.

May you deeply know how He has valued you, how He longs for intimate friendship with you.  Everything about Christmas is evidence of His extravagant pursuit.

May you... may we... have tender hearts this Christmas, responsive to His tender, pursuing love.

Merry Christmas, dear friends!

Whether you're a "real-life" friend, or one that I've met through this blog... I love having you in my life.  Be so blessed this Christmas.

A Choice To Rejoice (Join me over at The Better Mom this morning!)

(Hey there! You've found part 1 of 2 of the Romans 12:15 Mini Series.  This first part was a guest post over at The Better Mom, as you'll see below.... And here's a link to part 2: Mourn With Those Who Mourn.)

“Rejoice with those who rejoice....” (Romans 12:15)

Five words, spoken in the context of loving one another well within the body of Christ. They seem like a no-brainer, don’t they?

But sometimes, there are heart-hurdles that make this simple concept quite complex:

• In 2005, I experienced a very painful marriage-breakdown, separation, and divorce. I had never dreamed I’d be divorced at age 25. I was traumatized and devastated. During that season, I attended three weddings, and had a role in one of them.
• In 2008, my sweet sis-in-law and I were pregnant together with our first babies, due within 4 days of each other. I miscarried my baby at 11 weeks. She went on to have my nephew the week I would have been due.

***I'm so excited to have the honor of posting over 
at The Better Mom today!***

I'd love for you to hop over and join me there to read the rest of this post. You'll love this crew of awesome, uplifting, Jesus-loving ladies! :)

Isaac's Birthday Party Is Today...

... and in a matter of hours, our house will be overflowing with his little buddies. :)  I'm soooo excited.

Due to the impending influx of precious little people, this little corner of the internet will be quieter today.

I just want to leave you with this picture of Isaac enjoying a couple of early birthday presents.... and this thought:

I am SO EXCITED when I get to give Isaac good gifts, things I know he'll just LOVE.  Aren't you the same with your little ones?

And how much MORE does it delight and overwhelm our Father's heart when He thinks of all the good gifts He has in store for us, just waiting for His perfect timing?  

Oh my friends, He loves us SO MUCH!!

Be blessed today with a deeper revelation of how He loves to pour out His goodness all around you....

St Louis!

We had such a fun weekend celebrating our fifth anniversary together. Isaac stayed in KC with a friend and we got our first night (actually 2 nights) away from him together soon since he was born. Though we missed him, it was really nice to get a break..... And even though there were some unforeseen slightly ridiculous circumstances, we had a great time together.

The non-raining pics are from how are accidental trip over the Mississippi River and into East St. Louis, Illinois. Whoops! Haha.... The raining pictures are from our trip out of St. Louis on our way back to Kansas City on Sunday morning. How refreshing it was to see some water falling from the sky! I'd almost forgotten what rain looked like!

On Friday evening we spent several hours at the city Museum. All I can say is, WOW! That is one incredible place. I played so hard that I was sore for three days afterwards. :-) Saturday morning we spent several hours at a coffee shop just journaling, reading, and talking. It was sooooo refreshing. We grabbed lunch at an amazing Italian restaurant in The Hill, an Italian area in St. Louis....yummmmm.... followed by a relaxing afternoon hanging out at our hotel, swimming, reading, and talking.... and then a fun dinner out at the Boathouse, a restaurant on a lake. A good time was had by all, including Isaac who enjoyed his time at home with Jerusha immensely. He did really well in our absence, and was very excited to see us when we walked in the door.... almost as excited as we were to see him. :)

Mental note: we must go out of town again together before 2 more years go by.

City Museum.... No words to describe the amazingness.

These 2 pics were from the accidental trip over the river.  Haha :)

The arch... it was raining Sunday morning when we had planned to go see it.  Bummer.   Still got a lot of good views of it though since it was right behind our hotel.

surprise....

We had a "small" group of some of Stan's good friends over for a SURPRISE birthday party for him last night.  I told Stan that we were going to put Isaac to bed last night and have a late dinner at home, just the 2 of us.... and that he wasn't allowed to know what I was making... <<wink, wink!>>... which was a great ploy to hide the AMOUNT of food I was making! :)  

Stan later said he never even suspected that I was planning anything other than just a dinner for the 2 of us. :) (Yesss!!)

Check out Stan's expression here:

It was so fun to have all these guys in our home... and Stan was really surprised.... and REALLY blessed.  Success! :)  Happy 34th birthday, babe!

The 51-year-old Me

I've been thinking a lot lately about how and who I want to be when I'm in my 50's.  The first 13 years of adulthood have flown by....and here I sit at age 31 knowing that the next decade, and then 2, then 3, and so on, will fly incrementally faster.  Really, this entire life here on Earth will be just a quick blip from the perspective of eternity.  And maybe I'm having a "midlife crisis"...or "mid-life evaluation moment" (not crisis- I don't feel distressed or anything.)....a few years early...but I've been considering who I want to be in 20 and 30 years and what things I should invest my life in NOW in order to reap the harvest of who I want to be THEN.  So this is what I've come up with so far:

NOW, I need to invest lots of time in the secret place with the Lord, to prioritize intimate friendship with Him above all else, so that THEN my heart will be so much more closely tuned in to His whispers and His leadership.

NOW, I need to invest time in learning and disciplining myself to listen well and really hear people's hearts, so that THEN I will be more able to hear the heart of God for people as they share their hearts with me.

NOW, I want to prioritize time connecting with Stan's heart and being before the Lord with him, so that THEN we will be in such a level of unity that will allow the Lord to use us powerfully together.

NOW, I want to prioritize one-on-one time with Isaac and with each of my other children so that they will feel pursued, seen, known, and understood while they're young, and so that THEN they will be sure of their value to their Father and to me.

NOW, I want to invest time and thought and intentionality into making our home a peaceful place to live, so that THEN it will be like second nature to me, and our children will know as adults how to facilitate peace in their own homes.

NOW, I need to prioritize loving and seeking His heart for those He's put before me, so that THEN I will reap the joy of long-time friendships, AND knowing how to share in His heart for people who are so precious to Him.

NOW, I need to read books congruent with my passions, callings, giftings, and who I want to be in 20 years....and I need to seek relationships with those who are more advanced in years and in the Lord than I am, so that I will learn MORE of the things I can do NOW, to facilitate becoming who I want to be THEN.

That's all I've got for now.... What about you?  Any "NOW.....so that THEN" thoughts you'd like to share? :)

(Failing to plan is planning to fail, right?)