Part 2: The Wreck and the Aftermath

Today I went over to the dealership where we left my minivan with its possibly-going-flat front left tire.  I photographed the damage... $4,350 worth, as I mentioned in Part 1 of this story.

Front driver's side wheel - where we got shoved into the curb.

...and took a few pics at the scene of the accident:

Leftover debris on the side of the road - this was from the front of the car that hit us.

The curb on the wrong side of the road we had been turning onto
with marks from our impact.

Where we were when we got hit - just about to turn right here.  Those are the trees where we would have ended up if I hadn't found the stinkin' brake pedal.... We ended up over there next to them facing the wrong way on the left side of that road.  For anyone familiar with Greensboro, this is at Eagle Road and (almost) Bridford Parkway... over off of West Wendover.

One final pic: this is the dealership where I had been headed to get an oil change... in the parking lot of which sits my crippled minivan, awaiting the insurance adjuster.  This is a Hendrick dealership - there are hundreds of them around the country.  The fact that we bought our minivan from  a Hendrick-owned Nissan dealership in Kansas City last year meant a rolled-out red carpet for us at this Hendrick-owned Chevy dealership here in Greensboro.  Super thankful - these guys are great and incredibly helpful.
(Note the Carolina Blue sky... Nowhere like here.)
~~~

Today we have felt okay.  Isaac is acting normal - pretty sure he's fine.  We had a BLAST at the Greensboro children's museum today and I might not be able to resist posting pictures from our visit there at some point in the near future.

Jerusha and I have been a bit sore today.  Interesting fact: We hadn't been certain, though Jerusha was fairly sure she remembered correctly, that we had in fact turned and looked at each other briefly in shock when the initial impact occurred.  Today, the left side of my neck is sore (I would have turned to my right to look at her) and the right side of her neck is sore (she would have obviously turned her head left to look at me).  We laughed today about the location of our muscle soreness being proof of the fact that we did indeed make some kind of momentary stunned, terrified eye contact with each other before it occurred to me to put my foot on the brake. :)

A cool thing that happened that I don't want to forget:

When my dad and I finally got home from leaving my van at the dealership after the accident, it was time for Isaac to go down for his nap.  I changed his diaper and got him all snuggled up under his blankets... and then lay down next to him.  I wanted to give him a chance to process what had happened.  

Our conversation went something like this:

Mommy: "Isaac, remember when we were driving in our car and then BANG, that car crashed into our car?  And then we stopped really fast and you were crying?  That was scary, huh?"

Isaac: "Bang!  Crash!  Our car was breaking!  Really broken!"  He whimpered and snuggled closer to me.

Mommy: "I know buddy, that was scary... That car crashed into our car and our car IS broken... but Jesus kept us safe, Isaac!  Jesus kept Isaac safe, and Mommy safe, and Jerusha safe!  And the mechanics will fix our car so it will be all better."  (He's been learning about mechanics lately - he's fascinated by them.)

Isaac: "Crash!  Jesus kept safe!  Mechanics!  Tow trucks!"  No longer whimpering.

Mommy: "Yep, we're all safe, bud.  Isaac and Mommy and Jerusha - Jesus kept us all safe!  We can pray and tell Him thank you.... Thank you Jesus for keeping us safe!"

Isaac: "Isaac safe.  Thank You Jesus keeping us safe!"

I finished tucking him in and he rolled over...fell asleep in complete peace.  I loved it.  I loved that he got to process the emotions around the wreck with me.  I had been concerned for him because he'd been "whisked away" to go back to Gigi and Grandpa's house so quickly after it had happened and I hadn't had the opportunity to help him process.... but then I was so thankful that a couple of hours later he was able to talk with me about it, to remember it and feel it with his emotions and then to realize that Jesus took care of us and thank Him for that.  

What an incredible gift and responsibility God has given us as parents, eh?  This charge to shepherd and steward and guard our kiddos' hearts before Him?  There is nothing more challenging... or more fulfilling or exhilarating. 

To all of you who've prayed for us in the wake of the crash, thank you.  I've had a few moments of fear as I've been riding and/or driving in the last 24 hours, as this was by far the most intense wreck I've ever experienced.... but Jesus is faithful and His grace is more than enough.  Still, it's kind of hard not to be sitting at a stop sign or traffic light and be bracing myself to be hit again.  Interesting.  I didn't expect to experience this.  I'm sure it'll pass.

In the meantime... I'm meeting tomorrow morning with the insurance adjuster who will be checking out the damage to my car.  Praying that AllState quickly accepts liability for the accident and QUICKLY releases me to begin having repairs done...so that we can MAYBE get back to KC by the end of this week.  (The original plan was to leave NC this coming Thursday morning.  That is looking unlikely.)

We'll see.   All's well.  We're just thankful over here.

:)

Part 1: How Getting A North Carolina Oil Change Turned... Well... Interesting.

Isaac passionately loves to crash his cars, trucks, airplanes, helicopters... whatever... into each other.  Or into walls or tables or floors or any other hard surface you can imagine.

This morning (Monday, 3/18) he experienced his first real crash.

Let me say it now: we are all okay.

Isaac and I, along with our housemate Jerusha, are in North Carolina visiting my family.  Stan wasn't able to come because of his work schedule (sad!!) so Jerusha agreed to take some time off of work and wrangle this 17-and-a-half hour road trip with Isaac and me.  Yup, that's us.  The road trip wranglers.  We drove from Kansas City straight through to NC.  No, we won't be driving it straight on the way back.  Just for the record.  HOLY COW it was long.

The (grubby) Road Trip Wranglers: Cheesin' it up outside 
Cracker Barrel in Frankfort, KY.

So somewhere in the middle of Kentucky or West Virginia, my "oil change" light came on. Yes, I feel kinda dumb for not getting an oil change before we left town... but we decided to press on through and get the oil changed here in Greensboro.  So... this morning I was finally on my way to do that.  Isaac and Jerusha were in the car with me.

It was overcast and sprinkling outside.  We drove not even 5 minutes up the road from my parents' house and prepared to turn right to go toward the parking lot of the dealership... and....

SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!

The crash was deafening.  We were hit from behind and everything that happened next occurred in slow motion. 

I gasped, stunned.  I remember Jerusha crying out in shock. Jerusha says she remembers us looking wide-eyed at each other for a split second as our car careened forward, out of control.  Both of our heads snapped forward and a quick moment of severe pain shot through them, then subsided completely.  

My right foot moved in slow motion, searching.  I have to find the brake pedal or we'll end up in those trees... Have to stop the car...........

Finally found it and pressed down as hard and fast as I ever have.  We came to a quick stop, slamming hard into the curb on the wrong side of the road we'd been in the process of turning onto.  I remember being so thankful we hadn't jumped the curb and ended up in the trees.

The entire event happened within probably 3 seconds.  They were the longest 3 seconds of my life.

"Thank you Jesus that we're okay."  I think I said it out loud.

Isaac was screaming, crying, shocked and terrified.

I stumbled out of the car, opened his door, unbuckled him from his car seat with shaky hands.  Never have I been more profoundly thankful for a car seat.  Ever.

I pulled him out of the car and held and comforted him and he began to calm down.

I hope his little spine is okay....

The guy who hit me came over, asked if we were alright, told us he'd tried to stop but lost traction on the wet road.  I asked Jerusha to call 911 and let them know we needed a cop.  I called my parents, who arrived within 5 minutes.  We loaded Isaac's car seat into their car, and they took Isaac and Jerusha back to their house while I waited on the officer to fill out his crash report.

Nearly two hours later, my dad (who'd dropped the others off at home and then come back to meet me) and I arrived back at my parents' place.  Minus my un-driveable 2012 minivan. :( It's a little sad - I'm not gonna lie.  

Got an estimate from the body shop at the dealership where I had been planning to get an oil change:  $4,350 worth of damage.  

Entire rear body/underneath needs replaced.  Front driver's side tire/wheel/rim/possible suspension/steering damage... from slamming into the curb.

I am so thankful it wasn't my fault.  And that the other guy's insurance policy is legit so we won't have to pay a penny.  And again, that we're all okay.  

Years ago I lost traction on wet roads and rear-ended someone - so I felt bad for him.  And he was apologetic.  A good guy.  Just a bummer.

Definitely wondering if we'll wake up with sore necks/backs tomorrow from the insane whiplash moment we experienced.  Really praying Isaac's okay.  He seems to be - he's his normal wild, fun, dancing self. :)

We have to wait until Wednesday morning for the other guy's insurance adjuster to come out and do their whole estimate thing....for AllState to accept liability for the accident and approve getting the damage fixed.  7 days worth of repairs need to be made on my car, according to the guy at the body shop.  IF we end up needing to get all the work done in North Carolina, that puts us arriving back home in KC probably a full WEEK later than we'd planned.  Eesh.  And that wouldn't be such a big deal except for the fact that my little guy is SERIOUSLY missing his daddy. :(  As am I!  

There's a chance we'll be able to only get my front left tire/wheel situation fixed here and then drive it back to KC and have the rest of the work done there.  Hoping and praying that that works out.

All of that said, I don't know that I have anything super profound to say tonight, except just that, despite all the inconvenience and hassle of this whole ordeal, I see the hand of God woven through all of it.  He's good and faithful, and He protects and provides and gives grace for every moment, every circumstance.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the story within the next couple of days.

:)

Obliterating "Mommy-Martyr Syndrome" [From Running On Fumes to Living In Him]

As much as I try not to, I tend to "zone out" a little spiritually when I travel.  Getting out of our normal routine as a family almost always equates to little to no focused, intentional time with the Lord for me.

This is a bummer for lots of reasons.

I really felt the absence of my times with Him on this past trip to North Carolina.  I had a TON of fun, great times with family, and even had some really sweet moments of prayer in the midst of doing other things, or as I'd lie down to go to sleep at night.  

But I also found myself much more distracted than normal, less intentional about praying "leaning" prayers, and less aware and in tune with His nearness than I have been for the most part as of late.

The interesting thing was that I didn't noticeably feel the results of my lack of focus and intentionality with Him until toward the end of my trip.  I'll share with you my primary symptom.  Can anyone else out there identify with this?

It was "Mommy-Martyer Syndrome."  Oh, I HATE how this is what I "default" to when I'm short on intentional time with the Lord.  For me, "Mommy-Martyr Syndrome" begins with a few yucky internal conversations... like this:

"Yeah, sure, I'll just handle this whining kiddo all by myself while you walk off blissfully unaware that I could really use some HELP here..."  Or....

"No, I really don't mind doing ALL the work while you sit down and put your feet up."

Sound at all familiar?  The thing about these internal "mommy-martyr" conversations, is that when I take a step back mentally and look at the situation a little more objectively, my frustration is, most of the time, at least 80% unwarranted.  Stan probably did nothing, or very little, to "earn" my frustration toward him.  (And yes, it is almost ALWAYS directed toward him.)

While these internal conversations are happening, I am often somewhat aware of them and disappointed by the condition of my own heart.  I hate feeling like that inside... hate the absence of the fruit of the Spirit and a Kingdom atmosphere (righteousness, peace, and joy) in my heart in these moments. 

But in the moment I usually feel powerless to change.

The next step, after the yucky internal convos, is a more obvious irritability toward Stan.  I'm quieter, my responses to him might be short, and I tend to be noticeably bummed out.

So... by the time we were on the plane on Saturday evening, heading back to Kansas City, this was a pretty accurate picture of my condition.  I was irritable.  Short.  Easily stressed out.  Not lighthearted.  Stan felt the brunt of it... undeservingly, I might add.

It wasn't till I had a few minutes to think and pray during our first flight (somehow, miraculously, in the midst of all of Isaac's exhausted-2-year-old-stuck-in-car-seat-on-plane ridiculousness) that I realized: my shorter-than-normal fuse was a direct consequence of my lack of focused time with the Lord.  

I had stopped setting my heart before Him daily in such a way that He was resourcing me for every moment.  I had gradually crossed the line from living life in His strength, to dealing with life in my own strength.  

And I can only run on fumes for so long before I start taking it out on the one human being who lays his life down for me more than any other: my husband.  In those moments, I am subtly looking to him to fill a need in my heart that only the Father can fill.

Ugh.  I hate that I do that.  I hate how I am capable of hurting Stan's heart.  I hate the ugliness that comes out of my heart when I move into that "Mommy-Martyr" mode.  When I'm running on fumes instead of being supernaturally resourced and empowered by my ultimate Source.

So... I prayed.  I repented.  I shared my revelation with Stan, told him how I realized I had been running on empty and not being resourced by my Father and how my irritability had been a symptom of that.  

And I reached out and held Stan's hand, despite my [unreasonable] emotions to the contrary.  

And immediately, the ugly heaviness lifted off of me. My irritability toward Stan was replaced by a gracious, affectionate heart toward him.  I'm not kidding - the heart-change was instant.  

This was SO not something I could pull off in my own strength.  I had been powerless to "fix" myself on my own.  It was the grace of God, His kindness that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4), and the moment I repented for trying to walk on my own and intentionally, in my heart, leaned into Him again, trusting Him as my Source, the grace was there.  Everything I needed was there.  It's all found in dependence on Him.

Just a thought for you today, friends: What are your personal "symptoms" of trying to do life in your own strength?  Of not intentionally positioning your heart to be empowered and resourced by the Father?  Maybe you could ask God to lovingly highlight these things to you?  To lead your heart back to a place of leaning into Him, of tapping, by faith, into the grace for each moment that He's already put within you through His Spirit?

He is so, so committed to doing this for us, my friends... and to walking intimately with us as we trust Him to be our Everything.

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

2 Peter 1:3 (NLT)

Sweet Moments

Still in North Carolina....  Loving this time with family.  What a gift.  Just keeping track of memories today.  

Praying you and yours, friends, are experiencing the extravagant heart of Jesus toward you this week, manifested in all His good gifts.  You are loved.

Fun Cousin Play Time!  Many more pics to come,
I'm quite sure. :)

Been so fun breaking out my old toys from my childhood...
[and instagramming].

My grandpa made this train for my little brother in the 80's.

What happens when Stan and Dana get a chance to relax? Pure silliness.

Isaac loves "Mr. George," my parents' 80+-year-old neighbor.  Man... he was "old" when I was a kid!
 Super cool guy; really loves us.

Goofing off with Daddy

Checking out Grandpa's big truck! Pretty much the coolest
thing EVER, if you're Isaac.

Up in the truck!  Lots of horn honking. :)

Fun Grandpa time!

We love Gigi!

Visiting Isaac's Great Grandma and Grandpa Kiser
(AKA "Grandma Della" and "Papa Raymond,"
my grandparents.)

 

One Of My Absolute Favorite Things About North Carolina

Hi, My Dear Friends!

This Thanksgiving week finds the KC Butlers in NC visiting my side of our family. We are so thankful to be able to be here with them! As time allows, I want to try to blog often this week... Just don't want to lose track of these sweet memories.

If you know me in real life, you know that Carolina barbecue is where it's at for me. Oh man... Not many foods in the WORLD are better than this. Stan and Isaac and I definitely hit up the BBQ place in the Charlotte airport within 5 minutes of deplaning. The perfect way to pass the time while waiting for my mom (a.k.a. "Gigi") to arrive to pick us up.

Carolina BBQ: One of the many ways God speaks His love to my heart. I'm not even joking.