Sunday, April 21, 2013

For When Your Dreams Are Dying [And MY FIRST E-BOOK! My GIFT to YOU!]

Wow!  Big day around here!

I'm guest posting at the Better Mom!  So fun!


I'm officially launching my first eBook today, and I'm so excited to share it with you!

Stillness Manifesto:
A Call to NON-Action
(Complete with Step-By-Step NON-Instructions)

And now...

For When Your Dreams Are Dying

Since my husband and I were engaged, we’ve dreamed of having large family.  10-ish kids was our plan.  Some biological, some adopted.  

But our 2 attempts to foster-to-adopt and our 4 total pregnancies have left us with only 1 child.  One on Earth, anyway.  

3 in Heaven.

We also have a domestic adoption in progress.  14 months in, and we’ve not had so much as a nibble yet.  Definitely didn’t expect to be waiting this long.

And at age 32 with a hubby who’ll soon turn 35, and one (albeit amazing) 2-and-a-half-year-old little guy running sprints through our house, the fulfillment of these dreams is looking unlikely. 

In this season, our longings and plans seem to be slipping like sand through our fingers, like seeds that must go into the ground and die in order to bear fruit (John 12:24).
So blessed to have the privilege of guest posting over at The Better Mom.  

(Don't forget to come back and get your copy of Stillness Manifesto!)


  1. Hi, I am in the same boat as you, and am learning to stop grieving over my dream of having more children too! I got pregnant on my honeymoon, but I had a horrible injury during my first childbirth at 26, and I had a hysterectomy last year at 31. I now have chronic daily pain and would be unable to adopt and care for a baby. My husband and I have to learn to treasure each moment with our daughter and trust in God. Thanks for posting, as I have been trying not to be depressed about it, and it is encouraging to hear that I'm not alone, even though I'm sorry that you are going through it too.

    1. Laurie, I'm so sorry, for the loss of your fertility and the chronic pain that makes it impossible to bring more kiddos into your family. I can only imagine how hard your journey has been. I love that you're learning to treasure each moment with your little one. May you experience His delight over you and hear His "well done" as you embrace the good gifts He's given you... and may you begin to catch glimpses of the bigger picture of all He has for you. More than you can ask, think, or imagine. Bless you friend!!

  2. This is a great post. I know that the Lord has great plans for you, and he walks us through our times of grief with an indescribable comfort. I've been there the last year and a half as I have gone through both early miscarriages, and two losses that were barely into the 2nd trimester. The pain is deep, but the Father's love is DEEPER. He is the true healer of our souls, and he has great plans for our lives.

    I absolutely LOVE your heart for adoption, and I don't want to stick my nose where it does not belong... but I feel led to share something that may or may not be of interest to you:

    I was blessed with 5 full term births before the series of miscarriages I mentioned above. At first, it seemed that I was running into some random chromosomal issues... Now it is looking like that is not the case. The long story short is this: My doctor put some pieces together and then told me that he would put me on low dose blood thinners for my next pregnancy. I did a little research and discovered that many women with multiple miscarriage have an auto-immune or thrombophilia disorder... Here's the kicker: Scientists have not found them all yet... so it is possible to test negative for everything. I have tested negative twice, and yet my doctor seems fairly confident with the blood-thinner plan. From what I have read, it appears that these disorders may be causing both early and later miscarriage... depending on what the diagnosis is. I share all of this because there seems to be a high success rate with the right treatment. Sometimes it is about finding the right doctor, because some of them have an old school mentality or some other reason that keeps them from prescribing thinners. Of course, there are other things that cause miscarriage, like low progesterone... ( is a great resource) I just felt led to share this because it does not seem to be common knowledge... *IF* the Lord leads you to research this, you may look for an immunologist, a hematolgist ( for blood testing) or a high risk OB with an open mind.

    May the Lord bless you, guide you, and give you His amazing peace.

    - Mom of 5

    1. Hi there, I appreciate this information. I'd never heard of this before. I will look into it for sure if we decide to try again. Thank you so much!!

  3. I am another mama whose "plans" we're wrecked, and I can testify that His ways truly are higher! Not a single pregnancy but five adoptions later my dream of a big family (that I thought was impossible) has been fulfilled. Hang on tight and don't give up. Adoption is an emotional roller coaster and an incredible spiritual battle but you will look back and see His hand all over your story. I pray He brings you many precious blessing and fills your home with noise and laughter.

    1. Yes... His ways are higher! I so love that you guys have been able to adopt 5 little ones! Awesome. Just awesome. Adoption IS such a ride, isn't it? I'm so thankful for Him as my source of stability through it all. Mostly... not all the time, but mostly... I do well at hanging onto Him and rolling with all the ups and downs. He is SO faithful. Bless you Jeanine! Thanks for your encouragement here.


Hi there, friend! I'm honored and blessed when you share your heart, your thoughts, your feedback with me here. At the same time, I want my readers to feel free to read and process internally before the Lord... to not feel obligated to spit out immediate feedback.... so I am SO not upset or offended by non-commenting readers. Please be who you are - - internal AND external processors welcome here! :)

**If you have trouble leaving a comment, try going to where it says "comment as," or "Choose an Identity," changing the setting to "anonymous," and commenting as an anonymous user. Just make sure you leave your name in your comment if you'd like me to know who you are.**

Thanks so much for walking beside me a little ways here.

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