I sat in Costco eating pizza with Stan and Isaac and Stan read me the news off of his phone and I just had no grid for it. No way to process it. My jaw hung open and passers by must have thought me strange, not having heard the news yet. I couldn't cope with what had happened. The terror. The fear. The trauma. The horrific, profound LOSS. The precious lives. The children. Their parents. Their siblings and friends. Oh, God....
I have no mental box or spiritual folder in which to file this away. No way to make it make sense. No way to answer all of the "WHY, GOD?!?!"s that swirl around in my mind... in my heart.
AND YET....
He is good. He is unchanging. He is absolutely committed to those precious children, those families.
So here I sit, with no way right now to reconcile what I know of His heart, His character, with this horrible.... I don't even know what to call it. Loss is not a strong enough word. Not even close.
And this is all I can pray...
Wonderful Counselor... counsel every heart. Give wisdom to those who must counsel the children even as they cope with their own profound loss. Intimately be Counselor to all who need You in this moment...in the days ahead.
Comforter... You promise that those who mourn are blessed, for they'll receive comfort... Bless them now. Creator God, who intimately, deeply knows every need of every heart, comfort those hearts today. May they deeply, unmistakably encounter the God of Comfort.
Prince of Peace... You are capable of bringing peace into even the most horrific circumstances. Do this now, Father. Be who You are in all of this. Make Yourself known as the only Source of perfect peace. Peace that passes understanding.
Emmanuel, God With Us... be Emmanuel to those families affected today. Even now... Tangibly...be Emmanuel to them. Closer than all of the fear. Closer than the pain. Envelop their hearts in Your nearness. Your "with-us-ness."
These are things we celebrate about who You are, God, in this Christmas season. Would you make Yourself intimately, tenderly, powerfully REAL in these ways to every heart affected...even today. Even now.
Father, You are more than enough. Even in this. Somehow. Reveal Yourself, God. Be glorified.
