One Of Those Days

It's been one of those days.

You know.... the kind of day where, by 4pm, you just want to pull your hair out.  Or go hide in your room for the rest of the evening.  Or both.

Running on too little sleep, fighting a cold, having a long to-do list, and parenting an almost-2-year-old who's ALSO running on too little sleep... It's the equation for a not-so-easy time.

I've been angry more times today than I'd like to admit.  I've had to repeat the phrase, "I forgive him...I forgive him...I forgive him..." in my head quite a few times too.  I've spoken too harshly to Isaac a few times. I've rolled my eyes.  I've shut a couple of doors a little too hard.

You get the drift.

I've not been happy with the condition of my own heart today.

So now it's 4:30 in the afternoon, all my errands are run, we're having an easy meal for dinner, and my tired, strung-out boy is quiet for the moment watching a movie.  I sit down to relax for a few minutes and hear this knocking on my heart's door: "Hey, it's Me.  Remember?  I'm your Source?"

Oh yeah.  Yup, You are.  I think I forgot for a few hours.

"I've already given you everything you need for moments and days like these.  You've just forgotten to tap into it."

Suddenly I remember the lessons from Isaac's first year of life, which was sooo difficult.  (The link is to my story... If you scroll down, one of the last couple sections is the story of Isaac's first year.)

And I rehearse to myself:  God is my Source.  He lives inside of me and has already put in me everything I need.

His divine power has given me everything I need for life.... AND GODLINESS in the midst of life.  (2 Peter 1:3)

There was this prayer I wrote on an index card and stuck in my kitchen back in early 2011 when Isaac was a baby.... It went something like this:

There is grace, life, strength, joy, peace...for this moment.

You are my Source.  It is Your heart to give me all of these.

I choose to tap into them now, by faith.

Though this may sound a little like "power of positive thinking" mumbo jumbo... It is anything but that.  It is pure, simple, practical FAITH.  Faith that He's enough, and He's inside me....and He's given me everything I need to walk in peace and joy in this moment....and the next....and the next.

It's the whole bridge-appearing-under-my-feet-as-I-take-steps-of-obedience-by-faith phenomenon.  I step out in faith and obey; I experience His "enough-ness" for that moment. I obey some more; I experience it all over again for that moment..... and so on.

God is faithful.  He is more than enough.  He has given me all that I need.

Oh God, help me to remember.....and tap into Your all-sufficiency by faith.

This is where my weakness and Your strength meet....and Your glory is displayed.